1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
[Detectorists Season 3 Episode 3] - Enjoy!

2
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,200
Anything?

3
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:37,520
Linda!

4
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:45,720
What you got?

5
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,200
Ring pull - 78.

6
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,160
Kestrel Super.

7
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Kestrel.

8
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Super.

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♪ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me?

10
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,560
♪ Climb through
the briar and bramble?

11
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♪ I'll be your treasure

12
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♪ I'm waiting for you

13
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What?

14
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,320
Go, go, go!

15
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Go, go!

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I said I'd meet you at
the end of the road.

17
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Yeah, well, you weren't there.

18
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Couldn't you have waited?

19
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Look, you know the deal -

20
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,360
first to arrive gets first
choice of the field.

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Can't afford to let Terra Firma,
or whatever else they're calling

22
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themselves today,
get there before us.

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Oh, yeah.

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I had a brilliant dream last night.

25
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Yeah?

26
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Brilliant.

27
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,040
You have got to be joking me!

28
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Bastards!

29
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You strapped in?

30
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Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

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Woohoo! Woohoo!

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Stick that up your Arado!

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That was brilliant! That was like
Hill Street Blues or... or...

34
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or chips or summat!

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When we came to that gradual
bend to the right.

36
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I was right on his tail.

37
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You were glued to the road.

38
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Oh, that was just terrific!
Good times.

39
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Good times!

40
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So you don't think you were
even hypnotised?

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Oh, I know I wasn't. Nowhere near.

42
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I pretended I was, but wasn't.

43
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And when you got on the boat,
you were just as sick?

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Sicker. It was just foam by the end.

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Ah, here they are at last -
Wallace and Gromit.

46
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Too late. Find your own field.

47
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Mate! Mate!

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Come here!

49
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Better be bloody worth it.

50
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What?

51
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Look at these.
Just pushed up out of this molehill.

52
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What are they?

53
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Bits of pottery. Oh, for fu...

54
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Listen! Look, you know I can't
get excited about stoneware.

55
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Listen a minute. Look, I've
just come from over there.

56
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I've got a really good signal.

57
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Just look at these, look.
They're black on one side.

58
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So? It's a cooking pot.

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No, no, no,
it's blackened on the inside.

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I know this stuff. I recognise it.

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I think this was a cremation urn,
and this - this was a Roman burial.

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Wait!

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Wait a minute! Wait!

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You bastard!

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Wasn't my fault.

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You told 'em it was here?

67
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No. Well, then, it was your fault.

68
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And anyway, it wouldn't
have made any difference.

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In fact, it would have made
'em get rid of it sooner.

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What's going on?

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Andy, for Christ's sake!
You don't understand, do you?

72
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There's no money to be made
from a little bit of Roman mosaic.

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It just slows down construction.

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These guys in Dubai or
wherever it is, they just want

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their office block built so they
can start turning over a profit.

76
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So what are we even doing here?

77
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You had to lift the flagstone,
didn't you?

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If there's one thing I've learnt
from very early in this job,

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you don't lift the flagstone.

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You don't know what's
going to be underneath.

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Right, that's it. I quit.

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Tim? I said I'm off.

83
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For the day? No, I'm leaving.

84
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For the day? No, for good.

85
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So you're quitting? Yes.
Well, why didn't you say that?

86
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I did! You didn't hear. Would have
made things a bit clearer.

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I did say it. I'll say it again.
I quit.

88
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Right.

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I'll do the paperwork.

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I'm sorry about the mosaic.

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See ya.

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Hi, darling.

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Hello, sweetheart.

94
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Oh!

95
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All right, Colin? I thought you
was Toni. She about? Cheers.

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Watcha! Finished?

97
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Yeah. You just starting?

98
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Yeah. Night shift.

99
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Oh, well, ships in the night.

100
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I just called Colin darling.

101
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Why?

102
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Thought it was you.

103
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Because of the beard?

104
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Yeah.

105
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How did that go down? Really well.
We're having dinner tomorrow night.

106
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Oh, nice. He doesn't live
on a boat, then?

107
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Oh. Sorry.

108
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Wish you hadn't told me
the hypnotism worked.

109
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I thought it had.

110
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You were just humouring me
all along.

111
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Not deliberately.
I was humouring myself.

112
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Anyway, I've been thinking.

113
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I'm going to lend Kate my car
so she can go away this weekend.

114
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The TR7? Yep. You'll never do it.

115
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I've decided. I will.
Beggars can't be choosers.

116
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Desperate situations
call for desperate measures.

117
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Beggars can't be choosers?
Who's the beggar - me or you?

118
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That wasn't a very good
choice of words.

119
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Desperate situations?

120
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I could have worded that
better as well.

121
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Anyway, my point is that...

122
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I'm not sure I'm up for being
part of a desperate situation.

123
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All feels a bit silly.

124
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Anyway, I was thinking of seeing
my dad this weekend. No, don't.

125
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Well, do, if you want to, but I am
going to lend Kate my car, so... yes.

126
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There.

127
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,920
Have a good shift.
Drink coffee if you feel tired.

128
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See ya.

129
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Hey. Hi. Guess where we're going?

130
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Where?

131
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To look at a flat. Are we?

132
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Yes! Don't be cross.

133
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I saw it online and it looked really
good, so I booked an appointment.

134
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Thought we were way off being
able to afford anything.

135
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Well, I did some sums.
I think I underestimated.

136
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,920
With your job guaranteed, I think

137
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we can get a mortgage
on something like this.

138
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Let's just look at it, see if it's
the sort of thing we can afford.

139
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Yeah, cool.

140
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How was work today?
How was the mosaic?

141
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Um...

142
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Yeah, no, there wasn't anything
left of it after all.

143
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Oh, shame. Maybe there's
more of it elsewhere.

144
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Yeah, maybe.

145
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,680
Oh! Hello?

146
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,280
I'm looking for Lance.

147
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Are you now? And, er, who
might you be, may I ask?

148
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I'm Maggie.

149
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Well, Maggie, you'd better get to
the back of the queue because

150
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that man is mine, and nobody else
is sinking their claws into him!

151
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,160
Oh.

152
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:04,000
I'm fooling with you!
I'm Kate. I'm Lance's daughter.

153
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,200
His daughter?

154
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,040
Yeah. I get that reaction
a lot, actually.

155
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Surprise at my very existence,
like I'm a mythical creature.

156
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,720
Like a unicorn. Exactly.

157
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,120
Or a dolphin.

158
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,840
Er, is Lance expecting you? Because
I'm actually just out the door.

159
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,760
Yeah. Yeah, I'm a bit early.

160
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,680
OK, well, you'd better come in
and wait. Oh, thank you.

161
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,920
Oh, er, sorry about the mess.
That's my fault.

162
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,280
Oh, don't worry about that.
Er, make yourself a cup of tea.

163
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Thanks. I'll see you.
It's nice to meet you, Maggie.

164
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Yeah, bye, Kate. Bye.

165
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Eurgh!

166
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,600
Hello, hi! Um... ooh!

167
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,600
It's all right. Oh!

168
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,280
Hi. Becky? Yes. Kelvin. Hi.

169
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,840
Hi, Kelvin.
This is my husband, Andy.

170
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,640
Thanks for doing this
at such short notice.

171
00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,920
Hello. No, it's fine, no problem.
Keys. That's good.

172
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OK.

173
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,360
It smells like a jumbo jet.

174
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,640
Oh, this is a good feature.
Lights on!

175
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,720
Lights on now!

176
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,480
Lights! Turn on now! There.

177
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,120
Cool.

178
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,960
And you can use voice recognition
with that,

179
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,080
so only you can turn the lights on.

180
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,440
Why would you do that?

181
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,840
So the burglars have to
use their own torches.

182
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,960
Is there a problem with burglars?

183
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,080
No. Er...

184
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,560
This is the bathroom.

185
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,760
Underfloor heating throughout
and... heated mirror.

186
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,600
Warm reflection?

187
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,640
No condensation.

188
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,040
All the skylights
are hermetically sealed,

189
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:31,640
so is the air-conditioning filters
so it recycles and sterilises

190
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,320
the air whilst maintaining
the pressure in the room.

191
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,440
There's a slice of bread
on that skylight.

192
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,600
Oh, yeah.

193
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:51,200
Seagulls.

194
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,440
This is the front room.

195
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:02,520
Kitchen, washer, drier, sink,

196
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:07,640
gas hob - one to four -
with a hood going outside.

197
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,960
Um... Cupboard under the sink.

198
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,400
And, er, this is the floor.

199
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,960
And we try to use as many reclaimed
and recycled materials as possible.

200
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,280
For instance,

201
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,720
these worktops are actually made
from reconstituted hospitals.

202
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,760
Hospitals? Yep.

203
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,560
Demolished buildings, ground up
and graded and set in resin,

204
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,160
and you'd never know. I mean, look.

205
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,240
Oh. Where do they get
the hospitals from?

206
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,400
Uganda.

207
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,080
What about the garden?

208
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,280
The garden is communal.

209
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,520
I can see a shed. Whose is the shed?

210
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,760
It's the gardener's.
He comes once a week.

211
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,640
Can I use the shed?

212
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:49,760
You will not be allowed
access to the shed.

213
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,880
OK, well, nice to meet you.
Cheers, yeah.

214
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,800
It's worse than not having
a shed at all,

215
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,760
having a clear view of
somebody else's shed.

216
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,560
The voice-activated light switches
were a time-saver, though.

217
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,000
Sorry, but that was about
as far from my idea of a home
as you can get.

218
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,320
All right! I don't see you
coming up with many options.

219
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,440
No, sorry, I was just saying.

220
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,360
Looks like we're going to have
a little bit longer to wait.

221
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,040
Oh, morning, Lance.

222
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,240
Morning, Mags, love.

223
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,440
What...?

224
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,880
Maggie?

225
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,360
Is that you?

226
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,360
Hello, love.

227
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,880
Sorry, you looked tired,
you were yawning.

228
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,960
I'm just having a little bath.

229
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,440
It's all right, innit?

230
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,560
What you doing here, Maggie?

231
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,240
What are you doing here?

232
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,200
Oh, Lance, it was awful.

233
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,080
He turned out to be a real knob.

234
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,560
A wanker, yeah.

235
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,480
He fooled everyone. Well...

236
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,360
How could I have been so stupid?

237
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,120
I couldn't see past his...

238
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:23,720
..his broad chest and manly arms.

239
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,400
Must have been hard to.

240
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,800
You know that Tracey Ullman song,
Fast Car?

241
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,160
Tracy Chapman, yeah.

242
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,600
It was like that.

243
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,360
I had a job that paid all our bills,

244
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,440
he stayed out late
drinking at the bar.

245
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,400
It was exactly like that song.

246
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,280
Except he didn't have a fast car.

247
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,600
He had a Toyota Yaris. Average.

248
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,400
Listen, Maggie,
you can't stay here.

249
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,400
Oh, it'll only be for a few nights.

250
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,400
Your daughter's away,
I can have her room.

251
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,760
But I've got a girlfriend.

252
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,480
Have you? Oh, ain't that nice?

253
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,280
You deserve it, Lance.

254
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,560
She's supposed to be staying
the weekend.

255
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,520
I'll be quiet as a mouse.

256
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,240
Voicemail.

257
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,400
Oh, hi, love.

258
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,440
Ah, sorry, bad timing,
you'll be driving to work.

259
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,160
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you,

260
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,640
Kate's decided she's
not going away this weekend.

261
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,200
I offered her to take my car,
but she's got a stinking cold

262
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,160
and she's all tucked up.

263
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,840
So...

264
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,480
..maybe next weekend?

265
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:35,920
Anyway,

266
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,440
give us a call
when you get this message.

267
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,960
Bye.

268
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,880
Aeroplane mode...

269
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,360
..set.

270
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,760
Slippery slope, mate.

271
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,720
Slippery slope.

272
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,520
Andy?

273
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,480
Got any AA batteries?

274
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,920
What's that?

275
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:03,280
Batteries, AA?

276
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,280
Front pocket of my bag.

277
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,200
You may want to come
and have a look at this.

278
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,800
What you got, Roman?

279
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,840
Come and see.

280
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,680
Tell me you've not found gold?

281
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,840
You're acting strangely.
Have you found gold?

282
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,800
Maybe I have, maybe I haven't.

283
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,080
No.

284
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:24,120
What?

285
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,360
Noooooooooooo!

286
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,200
No, no, no!

287
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,280
Ah!

288
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,000
Oh, no.

289
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,320
I didn't even touch it,
I haven't picked it up.

290
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,160
I wanted to take a
photo of it in situ.

291
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,320
Did you see the glint of gold
as it flew away?

292
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,800
Did you see it?

293
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,320
Well, I saw a glint.

294
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,520
To be honest, it looked
more silver in the light.

295
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:56,800
You take that back.

296
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,120
Or copper alloy.

297
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,480
It was gold.

298
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,520
Oh.

299
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,120
Just swooped down in one movement,
and then it was away,

300
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:13,200
over the trees,
never to be seen again.

301
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,480
Right in front of your eyes?

302
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,880
Right in front of our eyes. Huh!

303
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,880
Hang on, hang on.

304
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,680
Why are you telling all this
with such glee?

305
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,920
I'm not.

306
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,240
Yes, you are.

307
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,440
It's like you've become
Mr I've Got Great News.

308
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,720
Mr I've Got Exciting News
To Tell Everyone.

309
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,120
"Away over the trees,

310
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:34,480
"never to be seen again."

311
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,800
Incredible to witness that, really.

312
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,800
A magpie stealing a coin.

313
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,800
At least you got
an anecdote out of it.

314
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,200
I don't want an anecdote.

315
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,800
Make a nice children's story.

316
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,760
The Tale Of The Magpie...

317
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,360
I want a gold coin.

318
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:49,880
..And The Greedy Man.

319
00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:52,880
What was it, the coin?

320
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,280
Septimius Severus, I think,
but I didn't even see the obverse.

321
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,840
I didn't touch it.

322
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,600
Well, I don't think you'll be
seeing that again, in my experience.

323
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,040
And what is your experience
of this, Russell?

324
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,440
I'm sorry to snap, mate,

325
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,680
but what experience have
you had of this sort of thing?

326
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,360
Lost a Frisbee once.

327
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,520
Did you check your hole?

328
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,840
Oh, it wasn't in the hole, Hugh.

329
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,120
I told you, it came out in the plug.

330
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,520
I know, but you did check the hole?

331
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,240
You did check your hole,
didn't you, Lance?

332
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,080
Well, I was in shock,
I... I didn't...

333
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,320
We just ran away, we....

334
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,720
Oh, I gotta take this.

335
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,280
How many times?

336
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,440
Always check your hole.

337
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,640
I mean, if that is a burial,
like you think,

338
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,560
and there's bits of burnt pot,
there could be more gold down there.

339
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,760
I know, I can't believe he
didn't check.

340
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:53,000
Well, you need to get down there
first thing, secure the permission.

341
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,360
You should camp out.

342
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,640
Yeah. Well, I mean, I would,

343
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,120
but I don't think Lance
has ever camped in his life.

344
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:01,200
He likes his creature comforts
too much.

345
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,640
Hello, Mags?

346
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,080
You all right?

347
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,480
Hello, love.

348
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,360
Now, listen, I found a bottle.

349
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:10,840
Hope you don't mind.

350
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,880
I've already had a glass,
but I don't want to get too giggly.

351
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,760
Oh!

352
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,360
What time will you be back?

353
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,600
Anyone got a tent?

354
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,360
I reckon we should camp out.

355
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,520
Ah!

356
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,800
That's Orion, look.

357
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,320
And that's his belt.

358
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,960
One, two, three in a row.

359
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,600
You see that?

360
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,120
Mate, I'm not five.

361
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,120
I know what Orion looks like.

362
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:43,800
Show me another constellation,

363
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,200
then I'll be impressed.

364
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,440
You're looking for the Plough,
aren't you?

365
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:53,760
Yeah.